First Lessons

I have been trying to digest my first experience of Zen – more accurately Chan - meditation. I took my first class last week, though I had been practicing based on my readings and study for a number of weeks.

Every now and then, you get just the faintest glimpse of Satori, as sort of a far off feeling of peace and wholeness. Once glimpsed, it just flits away as my thoughts jump to “I got it!”

Well, I don’t, really.

This will take time. Thomas Merton, a Catholic monastic, was in a monastery for years before he had his Satori experience (on his way to a dentist in Kentucky as I understand the story). Most practitioners never reach this state, so I am not sure why I am pressing myself so hard on this.

In the meantime, I have noted that I am more aware of my actions and far calmer then I have felt in the past. I also find it easier to focus on tasks since I have begum meditation. Perhaps it is like physical therapy for the brain. Just as physical therapy helps heal muscles and bone, this helps heal the psyche.

The seated breath counting meditation helps a great deal. I found that the walking meditation was not as easy, as I was always afraid I would step on the guy in front of me.

I was fascinated by the dharma talk given by Venerable Master Jian Zong at the Houston Chung Tai Zen center. He described an essential element of Buddhism as thinking. That is one of the great attractions for me and I am looking forward to more.

Still Small Voices

I attended a service this Sunday at First Plymouth UCC in Denver.

First, a big thanks to the church staff for all their support. It is a wonderful environment there.

The service was geared towards the high school kids in the congregation to acknowledge the graduating seniors. As such it was a bit louder and rowdier then a typical Sunday service. Particularly loud was the group of about 1 dozen drummers playing for parts of the service. If I had been 17, I would have loved it. Being somewhat more sober then I was at 17, I thought that there was simply no way to hear the small still voice within, no matter what label we apply to it – Buddha Nature or God. The fact that they passed out ear plugs was my first clue.

Tonight, I am going to my first class in Zazen – sitting Zen meditation - at the Houston Chung Tai Zen Center. I have been reading and listening to podcasts on this subject and attempting to practice on a daily basis. The contrast between the two spiritual events could not be greater. The drum music – and the mosh pit that formed at the end of the service – struck me as an exercise in loosing oneself in a group identity. Tonight will be the start of a series of exercises designed to strip away labels and identities to see what is really there.

I was reminded of these verses from the Bible (as always, to be read as metaphor when I quote them)…

The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord,
for the Lord is about to pass by."

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
1 Kings 19:11 through 13

This is a very Zen question posed to Elijah, one that I would have trouble answering now. I can not find that still small spot – by whatever label you might choose to call it – in the noise of a praise service or by loosing myself in the group before the stage. Instead, I must see what is really there, and use that as the seeds of compassion.

Some books, some talk, some comfort

I have been reading An Introduction to Zen Buddhism, by D.T. Suzuki. I grew interested in his work because he was such a profound influence on Thomas Merton, the Roman Catholic priest whose writings led me to study Buddhism. A good portion of his book falls into “what the f***?” territory. For example, Q: what is the Buddha? A: 3 pounds of flax. There are some passages, however, that gives profound yet simple insight, and for that reason the book should be read. Zen does not describe the taste of sugar he says; it just puts a cube in your mouth. You discover the taste.

I also had an interesting discussion today with a colleague from work who is rather strong in his opinions.

“Who was Christ?” he asked.

“A bodhisattva” I replied.

“So when he said he was the son of God?”

“Today we would up his medication.” I said

“So, he was enlightened enough to be at that level but dishonest when he claimed to be the son of God?” he asked.

Good question.

I am not going to attempt to parse through the languages, translations, councils, etc, that put the Bible in its current form. For this writing it is enough to say that we have never had the direct words of Jesus written down as he said them. We have an oral history that was eventually transcribed in a language Jesus probably did not speak when he uttered the words. Jesus would have used Hebrew or Aramaic. The gospels in the current canon were written in Greek. The bottom line is that we can not be sure what Jesus said, we can only be sure that someone else said he said it. We also can not be sure how any nuances may have come across. For example, did he say “a son of God” and someone substituted the definite article? The details of how these words were passed on, and eventually transcribed are lost to history.

Along with this I should add that I find more comfort in the words of the Buddha

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

Or this story of the Buddha:

One of his students asked Buddha, "Are you the messiah?"
"No", answered Buddha.
"Then are you a healer?"
"No", Buddha replied.
"Then are you a teacher?" the student persisted.
"No, I am not a teacher."
"Then what are you?" asked the student, exasperated.
"I am awake", Buddha replied.

On the attraction to Buddhism

On the attraction to Buddhism

As a history geek, I was not aware of any attempt, ever, to spread Buddhism by force. I am also not aware of any significant attempts to enforce Buddhist “orthodoxy” by force.

Imagine, for example, an “enlightenment crusade”

“Accept the 8 fold path to end the cycle of death and rebirth or die and… be reborn!

Does not make much sense I think.

Imagine a Zen inquisition – saffron robed monks standing over a torture victim stretched on a rack screaming

“WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING?”

“It is NOT NOTHING! Get Dick Cheney and we’ll water-board him!”

Somehow, I do not see that.