Am I a Christian?

Am I a Christian?
In an attempt to review why I am rejecting Christianity and considering a conversion to Buddhism, the need to get my own thoughts in order and a decent respect for the opinion of others who care for me requires that I set forth the reasoning. It would not be well to start my voyage on the great vehicle with an unskillful act.

For background it might be helpful if one is familiar with these books, as these started my thoughts moving in this direction:

Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth

Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan: The Varieties of Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search for God


Thomas Merton: Zen and the Birds of Appetite

Thomas Merton: New Seeds of Contemplation

His Holiness the Dali Lama: The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living

Thich Nhat Hanh: Anger

Thich Nhat Hanh: Living Buddha, Living Christ

Terry Pratchett: Small Gods

Monty Python: The Insignificance Song

I have also listened to a number of talks by Mr. Campbell.


This journey started with a point made by Joseph Campbell. To paraphrase, he pointed to a basic difference between Christianity and Eastern religions. In the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, we all have divinity within us. In that sense, we are all children of God – it would be our Buddha nature. In Christian traditions, there is one and only one child of God, Jesus of Nazareth.

I did not believe in one and only one child of God, but, as Mr. Campbell pointed out, that only made me a heretic, not a non-believer. I began to think of Jesus as a Bodhisattva and therefore human.

I also gave thought to the Trinity. I have never accepted the idea of a triune God. I thought of the Trinity as a construct, similar to the constructs I used on a regular basis in the study of subjects like quantum mechanics or advanced mathematics. It was a model to allow finite humans to understand the infinite, in the same way that probability electron clouds were a construct for understanding quantum states of electrons.

A series of experiences then intruded to cement my rejection of Christianity.

First, I worked at Compassion International. They are a wonderful group of people doing great work to alleviate child poverty. They are sincere. They practice what they preach for the most part. I now support and will continue to support a child through their programs. However, I heard a number of people who called themselves Christian were simply very small in their thinking. They are biblical literalists, who thought the earth 6,000 years old. They had no concept of the infinite (or close to) nature of the universe, space and time. They rejected all scientific understanding of the world where it conflicted with a literal reading of the Bible. They routinely invoked God’s will or divine intervention in the most random of acts. They believed that only those who think as they do would be saved. In short, they worshipped a small god bound to the earth, not the creator of the universe in all its grandeur. Instead, they truly believed that all truth concerning biology, physics, geology and chemistry were revealed to bronze age sheppards in the near east. I was truly turned off by the displays of staggering ignorance I heard there.

Second, I read Carl Sagan’s book. He put forth a simple question. To paraphrase, it was “In your experience, does God suspend the laws of nature to perform miracles, or do people lie or misinterpret experiences?” In truth, my experience is the later.

Third, I rejected the dual nature inherent in the Abrahamic faiths. I did not accept the duality of person and spirit, God and nature, form and substance, etc. I know that the denomination I belonged to, the United Church of Christ, did not accept some of the more extreme forms (e.g. transubstantiation) but the duality underlies much of these beliefs.

This Easter, with all my doubts and my increasing lack of faith to hear our minister (a man whom I hold in very high esteem and respect) proclaim “The Lord is risen!” To which we were t respond “The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!” I should add he had us doing this in Greek, but I will not attempt to spell that now.

I could not utter the words. I did not believe them to be true. When Jesus died, that was it; he was dead. With the rejection of this central tenet, I realized I was no longer a Christian.